Thanks for sharing this, I don’t know where to start but we have to educate our sons not to join in this horrible movement. Thanks for writing this important piece✨
Sending you a huge hug, thank you for reading this! I think putting political pressure on social media platforms to stop pushing misogynistic content is a good place to start. The law is slow to catch up to tech but we are getting there now. I found this article was a bit helpful in talking to my nephews about it: https://theconversation.com/how-to-talk-to-boys-about-misogyny-209438
In my corner of the world there is a general feeling that the Goddess is Rising. Women are coming into their power. No wonder the masculine is agitated & frightened.
I think there is a major fear from a certain demographic of men about women having full control of our own bodies, finances and independence. Which speaks volumes about the world these men would like to exist in where every woman is less than them in every way.
So true. There are good men who do not need to subjugate in order to feel better about themselves. Reading, and greatly enjoying, ‘when women were dragons’ by Kelly Barnhill
I now wonder if this is why so many women are ditching social media platforms altogether. I’ve noticed that a lot of Substack writers are sharing their journeys of “quitting” social media for good…and they’re basically all women. Part of me thinks all of us should just do the same, but then I guess men might end up in a misogynistic echo chamber online that will still spill into “real” life. Not really a solution then, I suppose.
Yes this is the reason most of my friends leaving. But also there is an enforcement telling women to be “soft” and taking any kind of action or response in return to even violent death threats is actually just as bad as misogyny itself.
I think it's important to realize a lot of this superiority complex where men believe women owe them praise, silence and service, is very old and directly taught by the church and religious leaders. I can remember being in elementary school when some boys thought it was funny to play "tag" where they tried to grab girls by the crotch on the playground. There was no social media - where did they learn this? Why did the adult supervisors think this was normal? The dehumanizing and seeing girls as objects starts early, and comes from multiple sources.
Today, religious men are still arguing whether women are "allowed" to speak in church or teach men anything. One Christian author even says women should always pretend to have less knowledge, as even giving a man driving directions is emasculating him. It's a preposterous play-acting of being a king who knows everything, and the fear they'll be "one-upped" and shown to be mediocre, or worse, pathetic. To rule and make an easy life for themselves, they have to pretend others who would raise objections are inferior and destructive. I strongly believe the lack of proper attachment and emotional development in childhood plays a role. But the women and mothers who are in these phallus-worshipping churches need to realize: the whole place would shut down if every woman got up and left.
One of my favorites you have posted since I’ve been following.
Every day I worry about the clearly identifiable undertones of this behavior I notice in so many of the discussions I hear in my son’s online gaming servers, read in subreddits, and see pretty despicable social profiles suggested to me by “the algorithm.” It makes me feel ill to think my child or any friend or family of mine might behave like this and I’d never even know it, but I also believe it goes both ways.
The media pressure pushing toxic masc is relentless and goes widely unchallenged, and the economic climate has been poised to fail the traditionally conservative expectations of the men it affects for a while now. The result is a new generation of incels who are unable to cope with their perceived failure of being given the stability, authority, and respect that society and their role models have conditioned them to feel entitled to.
Their behavior is often so extreme that it results in generalized fear of, or hatred of, men, that despite the inherent double standard of its sexism, often goes unchallenged for fear of appearing to defend such toxic behaviors.
Perhaps the aspect that makes it feel most sinister and dangerous, is that the outwardly expressed “pc” views of so many people from every background are so frequently exposed to be a facade. Suppressed hatred towards women is even prevalent amongst women, and is observed without interjection everywhere we look. Logically this means what we notice is likely only the tip of an iceberg of the ugliness in people’s hearts, and it is being given space to grow on social media every day without worry of being ousted in “real life.”
Thanks for sharing this, I don’t know where to start but we have to educate our sons not to join in this horrible movement. Thanks for writing this important piece✨
Sending you a huge hug, thank you for reading this! I think putting political pressure on social media platforms to stop pushing misogynistic content is a good place to start. The law is slow to catch up to tech but we are getting there now. I found this article was a bit helpful in talking to my nephews about it: https://theconversation.com/how-to-talk-to-boys-about-misogyny-209438
Oh! I was just looking for a resource like this - thank you for your post and the link!!
❤️
In my corner of the world there is a general feeling that the Goddess is Rising. Women are coming into their power. No wonder the masculine is agitated & frightened.
I think there is a major fear from a certain demographic of men about women having full control of our own bodies, finances and independence. Which speaks volumes about the world these men would like to exist in where every woman is less than them in every way.
So true. There are good men who do not need to subjugate in order to feel better about themselves. Reading, and greatly enjoying, ‘when women were dragons’ by Kelly Barnhill
I now wonder if this is why so many women are ditching social media platforms altogether. I’ve noticed that a lot of Substack writers are sharing their journeys of “quitting” social media for good…and they’re basically all women. Part of me thinks all of us should just do the same, but then I guess men might end up in a misogynistic echo chamber online that will still spill into “real” life. Not really a solution then, I suppose.
Thanks for this post, super important topic.
Yes this is the reason most of my friends leaving. But also there is an enforcement telling women to be “soft” and taking any kind of action or response in return to even violent death threats is actually just as bad as misogyny itself.
this is so important! giving misogyny any attention only stokes the fire and fuels the flames.
Exactly this!
I think it's important to realize a lot of this superiority complex where men believe women owe them praise, silence and service, is very old and directly taught by the church and religious leaders. I can remember being in elementary school when some boys thought it was funny to play "tag" where they tried to grab girls by the crotch on the playground. There was no social media - where did they learn this? Why did the adult supervisors think this was normal? The dehumanizing and seeing girls as objects starts early, and comes from multiple sources.
Today, religious men are still arguing whether women are "allowed" to speak in church or teach men anything. One Christian author even says women should always pretend to have less knowledge, as even giving a man driving directions is emasculating him. It's a preposterous play-acting of being a king who knows everything, and the fear they'll be "one-upped" and shown to be mediocre, or worse, pathetic. To rule and make an easy life for themselves, they have to pretend others who would raise objections are inferior and destructive. I strongly believe the lack of proper attachment and emotional development in childhood plays a role. But the women and mothers who are in these phallus-worshipping churches need to realize: the whole place would shut down if every woman got up and left.
Like the notion of "teachable moments" - just hope there are enough students ready to be taught....
One of my favorites you have posted since I’ve been following.
Every day I worry about the clearly identifiable undertones of this behavior I notice in so many of the discussions I hear in my son’s online gaming servers, read in subreddits, and see pretty despicable social profiles suggested to me by “the algorithm.” It makes me feel ill to think my child or any friend or family of mine might behave like this and I’d never even know it, but I also believe it goes both ways.
The media pressure pushing toxic masc is relentless and goes widely unchallenged, and the economic climate has been poised to fail the traditionally conservative expectations of the men it affects for a while now. The result is a new generation of incels who are unable to cope with their perceived failure of being given the stability, authority, and respect that society and their role models have conditioned them to feel entitled to.
Their behavior is often so extreme that it results in generalized fear of, or hatred of, men, that despite the inherent double standard of its sexism, often goes unchallenged for fear of appearing to defend such toxic behaviors.
Perhaps the aspect that makes it feel most sinister and dangerous, is that the outwardly expressed “pc” views of so many people from every background are so frequently exposed to be a facade. Suppressed hatred towards women is even prevalent amongst women, and is observed without interjection everywhere we look. Logically this means what we notice is likely only the tip of an iceberg of the ugliness in people’s hearts, and it is being given space to grow on social media every day without worry of being ousted in “real life.”