What anti-ageing discourse forgets

It’s all over the internet and before the internet every woman’s magazine was full of it. “How to look younger”, “try this anti ageing serum”, “prevent wrinkles!” and I can’t help but feel sad when watching yet another generation of young people being drawn into this capitalist notion that youth is the only kind of beauty worth having.

Every day I look into the mirror and I can feel the constant societal narrative that has been drummed into me speak. A new fine line around my eyes. A brand new wrinkle on my neck. It has taken a huge perspective shift to stop thinking this way about myself. And the perspective shift comes from the devastating reminder that so many people I love didn’t get to age.

There are people I love deeply who didn’t make it to 30. Or see 40. Or know 50. People I love who should have got more from their lives - got old enough to see the wrinkles on their face and to get laugh lines from the joy of being able to laugh with those they love. People who should have got to grow old and I am reminded what a privilege ageing is. I miss my people every day. I wish we had got to grow old together and laugh at the memories of our youth.

I am reminded through my grief that not all of us have the privilege of growing old. And in the grand scheme of the universe, we are here for as short a time as the flutter of a butterfly’s wings. All this time spent preserving youth is futile when we should be treasuring every wrinkle is a map back to the people we have been. Every year is a gift from a life that can be snatched at any given moment.

I look at the ageing discourse and think surely it is in our nature to age, as is with all the perishable beings that have been made by nature. What else are we supposed to do other than collect experiences and memories and love. The older we get the more we know of love and of hope. So here’s what I pray for, and what I hope for you. I hope you and everyone you love get to grow old together. I hope you get to know all the many dimensions of love and life. May you be gifted with a long, happy life.

With verse and warmth,

Nikita

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